Happy belated birthday to Ann.
I spent six hours at the hospital yesterday filling out admissions paperwork, having an MRI and an x-ray, giving blood, and speaking with a neurosurgeon and an anesthesiologist. Among other things, the three most important bits of information I learned were: 1. The surgery is three hours long NOT 30 minutes as I was originally told, 2. Enjoy my shower the morning of the surgery because I can't take another one for five days, and 3. I get to keep the piece of bone they need to remove from my spine in order to get to the disc. Cool.

I have no problem with a three hour surgery, I mean hey, take all the time you need. But then, as soon as it's over, they wake you up from a perfectly good buzz to ask you if you can feel your legs. And if I can't? Gee, you don't think it had anything to do with that piece of my spine you took out, do you? I hang out in recovery for about an hour before they send me back to my room where, hopefully, I'll remain pleasantly stoned for the rest of the day. Wishful thinking maybe, but I'm not taking my computer to the hospital counting on the fact that I'll be too wasted to use it. A few comic books maybe, a finger puppet or two, nothing too technical or that requires any kind of attention span.

I know I always go for the laugh, it's my way of dealing with things and sometimes it actually works. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about all this, but to use another Popeye quote, "I ain't no doctor, but I know when I'm losing me patience". Over the past year I feel like I've done all I can do to fix or improve my condition without surgery. It's time to resort to modern technology. Dr. King told me there's no reason for me to live like this. He also told me I'll be kicking myself for wasting all this time and not having it done sooner. But if I had had the surgery last year I'd always wonder whether I could have improved without it. Now I don't have to worry about that. Unless of course the surgery doesn't work either.

Oh, and about that piece of bone they're taking out of me, if anybody's kid needs something to hang on the end of a summer camp lanyard, let me know.

... to be continued.